X sah kah mun aku sik nangis sehari d rmh tok.
Husband left us here with the witch and the lil bro. He is so mad with me right now coz i can't ignore her in this hse. First of all, this is NOT my house so of course i feel unwelcome and camne lah ak mok bermaharajalela ctok mcm dunia tok ak mpun when in fact THIS IS NOT MY HOUSE. The thoughts of us under one roof is suffocating.
Do u think i would dare to go out feom this room? Do u think i would dare touch the food and drinks in the kitchen?
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Started with angst but ended with excitement
Lom panas gk burit aku duduk di katil tok, ak dh rs mok chow! I hate being here. Call it post patrum blues or leftover hormon or confused hormon or whatever but i hate being here simply because it's not hygienic.
I do not like it when they let the cats roaming around the house. The fur is everywhere and they expect that i'm okay with them putting my precious baby on the sofa/bed without a nappy on it? Hell no!
I have nothing to do at this house so i have all the time to do my observation about the house so i know exactly what i'm talking about. Stuffs are everywhere. One time, i saw a banana skin on the sofa.
Suddenly i think about how am i going to survive having two families comibg over in december plus i'm going to move in to my new place andddd i'm having a baby. Oh god! Thinking of it makes me want to kill myself.
1. I feel like a non stop working maid whenever i have them around. I want my apartment to be neat and tidy all the time or else i go balistic. Therefore, i will always be in d kitchen cleaning the non stop mugs and plates. My house will look like a haunted house by d end of the day. And i'll be sleeping after midnight coz only then the washing will stop.
2. My mom is a shopaholic. Thus, we spend a lot of cash on unnecessary item that we'll prob only use once or twice a year.
3. She wants things to be in her way and as i said earlier on, i'll be moving into the new house and i would really appreciate it if things are placed according to how we want.
*update*
I've just discussed with the husband and we decided to pimp our apartment in 3 weeks time. And hopefully most of the work will be done before everyone arrives.
Things to do:
Wiring+plaster ceiling
Paint
Kitchen cabinet
Sofa
Dining table
Clothes dryer
Hmmm..this post ended with a positive vibe. All thanx to my dear husband
I do not like it when they let the cats roaming around the house. The fur is everywhere and they expect that i'm okay with them putting my precious baby on the sofa/bed without a nappy on it? Hell no!
I have nothing to do at this house so i have all the time to do my observation about the house so i know exactly what i'm talking about. Stuffs are everywhere. One time, i saw a banana skin on the sofa.
Suddenly i think about how am i going to survive having two families comibg over in december plus i'm going to move in to my new place andddd i'm having a baby. Oh god! Thinking of it makes me want to kill myself.
1. I feel like a non stop working maid whenever i have them around. I want my apartment to be neat and tidy all the time or else i go balistic. Therefore, i will always be in d kitchen cleaning the non stop mugs and plates. My house will look like a haunted house by d end of the day. And i'll be sleeping after midnight coz only then the washing will stop.
2. My mom is a shopaholic. Thus, we spend a lot of cash on unnecessary item that we'll prob only use once or twice a year.
3. She wants things to be in her way and as i said earlier on, i'll be moving into the new house and i would really appreciate it if things are placed according to how we want.
*update*
I've just discussed with the husband and we decided to pimp our apartment in 3 weeks time. And hopefully most of the work will be done before everyone arrives.
Things to do:
Wiring+plaster ceiling
Paint
Kitchen cabinet
Sofa
Dining table
Clothes dryer
Hmmm..this post ended with a positive vibe. All thanx to my dear husband
Friday, November 9, 2012
Slowly getting rid of post patrum blues
Ola..
I'm in kch and i'm so happy coz husband just arrived yesterday. We'll be here til this coming saturday. The not-so-awesome part is i'm having a fever this past few days so i hope i'll be okay by today.
I love waking up next to my beautiful baby and the love of my life. I feel so blessed!
Update on our new home
I feel so greatful Alhamdulillah. At first, we have to KIV on the kitchen cabinet, wiring, decoration and buying d furniture since the stamp duty and legal fees already cost us 10 grand! But things have changed thanx to a certain someone and i feel so blessed!
So as soon as i get back...we'll be shopping for the home stuff!!! I need to start my budget and hopefully i'll be spending less than what i have so that i have some savings for our family.
I'm in kch and i'm so happy coz husband just arrived yesterday. We'll be here til this coming saturday. The not-so-awesome part is i'm having a fever this past few days so i hope i'll be okay by today.
I love waking up next to my beautiful baby and the love of my life. I feel so blessed!
Update on our new home
I feel so greatful Alhamdulillah. At first, we have to KIV on the kitchen cabinet, wiring, decoration and buying d furniture since the stamp duty and legal fees already cost us 10 grand! But things have changed thanx to a certain someone and i feel so blessed!
So as soon as i get back...we'll be shopping for the home stuff!!! I need to start my budget and hopefully i'll be spending less than what i have so that i have some savings for our family.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Tired
Life is extremely difficult to cope with at the moment. My body is not fully recovered yet. I am still 'handicaped' thus the frustration.
I guess my body is going to shut down if i don't go easy to myself. I'm having a slight fever and coughing but i try to not give way to it coz i need to BF rania and she needs my attention and love so i cant afford to be sick.
House works seem never ending and i really need to work extra hard to get things done.
Now i understand how relationship changes in marriage. It's all because of communication but sometimes you just dont feel like talking anymore cause the issue is not smth new. And you feel like talking is just a waste of time because it wont result in anything good so what you do is just continue woth your daily life and try to put everything at the back of your head and hope that you won't explode.
Ok off to second round of pumping.y head is spinning and i still have to take a shower, change rania to bedtime clothes and hopefully do another round of pumping insyaAllah. If i still have energy, i'll fold the clothes...
I guess my body is going to shut down if i don't go easy to myself. I'm having a slight fever and coughing but i try to not give way to it coz i need to BF rania and she needs my attention and love so i cant afford to be sick.
House works seem never ending and i really need to work extra hard to get things done.
Now i understand how relationship changes in marriage. It's all because of communication but sometimes you just dont feel like talking anymore cause the issue is not smth new. And you feel like talking is just a waste of time because it wont result in anything good so what you do is just continue woth your daily life and try to put everything at the back of your head and hope that you won't explode.
Ok off to second round of pumping.y head is spinning and i still have to take a shower, change rania to bedtime clothes and hopefully do another round of pumping insyaAllah. If i still have energy, i'll fold the clothes...
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
;(
Ya allah,
Pls give me strength. I can't go on feeling like this. My baby sik bersalah so why do i feel this way? Ya allah pls make this feeling go away. I can hate everyone except for my baby.
Ya allah,
Give me strength to go through this day. One step at a time.
Ya allah,
I beg u for a faster recovery. I hate having to rely/depend on other ppl. I hate having to boss my husband around. I hate how he needs to do every single/tiny thing for me.
Ya allah,
Pls don't make me fall into depression. I know i love my baby and i know i love my husband and i know i should be grateful with everything that i have.
Ya Allah,
Pls strengthen my iman and taqwa
Amin
Pls give me strength. I can't go on feeling like this. My baby sik bersalah so why do i feel this way? Ya allah pls make this feeling go away. I can hate everyone except for my baby.
Ya allah,
Give me strength to go through this day. One step at a time.
Ya allah,
I beg u for a faster recovery. I hate having to rely/depend on other ppl. I hate having to boss my husband around. I hate how he needs to do every single/tiny thing for me.
Ya allah,
Pls don't make me fall into depression. I know i love my baby and i know i love my husband and i know i should be grateful with everything that i have.
Ya Allah,
Pls strengthen my iman and taqwa
Amin
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