bye bye UPM

i'll be leaving real soon. This is the moment i've been waiting this whole semester and i am super excited to leave this place. This semester is a nightmare and the ending suck. Whatever it is, i'm looking forward for my industrial training. The only think i'm gonna miss here is the bf ;( but it's ok o syg. it's just gonna be for 2 months jak and i'll be coming back AGAIN!

i'm gonna miss u syg...

btw i had a great time yesterday at the street and ikea =D

i'm gonna miss u

i'm DONE with packing =)

let's get the party started

i'll be leaving tomorrow and i still don't have my cidb card!

packing never ending

Another day of packing, yet it doesn't seem empty. My stuff is all over and i'm sooo tired and it's on 9am ;(

happiness

i miss all my primary school friends. can't wait for the reunion =)

balik kampung..oooo..balik kampung..

The exams are over, at least for me =)) and now i'm supposed to pack but i ended up blogging..hmm..

in case your alarm goes off..

One of the room in my block caught on fire TWICE yesterday. The first one happened around 6pm and later on it happened again at 8pm. I was so mad because all the girls were taking their sweet time walking down the stairs. I still remember the look they gave me when i scream to their faces, asking them to walk quickly. It was so tiring to go all the way up to the 7th floor (this is where the fire took place) and make sure the building has already been evacuated.

tired.

it's friday and i'm still here

tired.

i need all the love you can give me

i feel like crap. i'm so sensitive and i hate everyone! i don't want to be here, in this room, in semenanjung! i want to be with my family in miri!!

 i don't care if you people can't solve the question because i have bigger things in mind other than exam. so i don't give a crap to what you have to say after every paper.

oh yea...if you're feeling crap as well, please go away. i am so sick and tired of caring other people's feeling. if you're mad, just keep it to yourself. Don't go around and spread your hatred to others because it is plain annoying. i, myself like to be quiet when i'm mad so i want you to do the same thing. i hate looking at your face when you're moody because everything that comes out from your mouth just HURTFUL.

so go away...

one step at a time

Surah Al-Tawbah (ayat 60)

Alms are for the poor and the needy, and those employed to administer the (funds); for those whose hearts have been (recently) reconciled (to Truth); for those in bondage and in debt; in the Cause of God and for the wayfarer; (thus is it) ordained by God, and God is full of knowledge and wisdom.


i found it interesting in the same surah (ayat 43-66).

Every day, we are lost in our own lust and sometimes it happens without us realizing it. Everything that we do, we need to have the right niat. Even a simple thing like saying assalamualaikum, we must say it sincerely with meanings and not just saying it merely as a culture. In a way, it is like a doa that we give to our brothers and sisters so please, when you say to them, say it like you mean it. How would you feel if someone you love says i love you but he doesn't mean it? The same thing applies here.

Let me ask you something. Why do you give derma? Some people give derma because they feel bad for the person. Some gives because they feel like they have to (because the person suddenly comes up to you while you're having dinner...which always happen in KL) in order to get rid of the person or he@she might feel embarrassed for being a cheapskate in front of their friends.Some even gives to show their wealth(@##%$!). Let me be straight to you. IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE GIVING, DON'T GIVE. What's the point in doing the charity when you're not sincere? You might look good in the eye of the society, but have you ever think on how god sees us?







Say: "Spend (for the Cause) willingly or unwillingly: not from you will it be accepted: for ye are indeed a people rebellious and wicked". The only reasons why their contributions are not accepted are: that they reject God and His Messenger; that they come to prayer without earnestness; and that they offer contributions unwillingly. Surah: Al Tawbah ( 53-54)

save me

i've been checking my fb like every half an hour. i read a post from someone blog and i totally can relate to it. i need a distraction to my own distraction! Every time there is a silent moment, my mind will wonder. My heart will start to ache and tears start rolling. i just want this feeling to go away. i hate feeling sad all the time.

i laughed so hard til my tummy hurts but i still feel empty inside.

 i need a distraction to my distraction.

mojo pls come back

i don't have the drive to study. This is so depressing...

mourning

Today is my first day of final and i don't think i did well. The paper was not that hard but i have so many things in my mind like which page i should refer to in the BS(british standard not bullshit) and i tried hard to remember what i did last night. There was a point when i feel like crying, not because the paper was too hard, its just that the memories of my aunt still lingers in my mind. Whenever it comes around, i'll stop being in the present and start thinking and remembering about the past. The jokes that we had, the places that we go. It's gonna be hard having a family reunion, now that she's gone.

Time will fly but her memories will always be in my mind.

To a better place....

i just got the news this morning that my beloved aunty passed away.  i tried very hard to control my feelings when i was talking to my bro but as soon as i heard my mom's voice, i couldn't stand it anymore and i just cry and cry non stop. i feel so helpless because i can't be there and i can't see her for the last time.

AL- FATIHAH
Salmah Binti Zainie
1945 - 2010

"Wahai Allah, ampunilah dia dan perteguhkanlah dia di kala menjawab soalan!"

i miss my bebeh...

it's going to be a beautiful day. insyaAllah =)

=)

 FINALLY  my project has started. Alhamdullilah

i need to finish my work

I feel like running away from this place. Three more weeks left and i'm barely hanging on. During my past semesters, i'll finish all my work, assignment and projects before my final starts but now...my project hasn't even started and my final exams is next week. how can i not freak out?! i can't seem to focus on my work because i keep on freaking out which leads me to do a lot of stupid careless mistake in calculation and constructing sentences that doesn't make sense. i'm trying to take one step at a time but it seems impossible to finish the task when you're tempted doing the other task because all your friends keep talking about it NON STOP!

it's like the hot news at the moment. things like have you done this or i need to finish this or what is the answer for this and yadayada. Listening to all of that when you just woke up can really spoil your mood for the day. well, at least for me. it would be nice for someone to talk about the music or movies or fashion or whatever things that doesn't relate to CIVIL ENGINEERING. This is why i like to run away or be on my own when i'm stress.

another thing that annoys me like crazy is when people give me comments or statements like "wahhhhhhhh dahhhhh studyyyyyyyy" or "i don't know anything, i haven't study!!!"and the most common one that i get is " i just study a few hours before the exams".and yadayadayada
there's only one message i would like to give to all of  you, just shut your pie hole and keep it to yourself. i don't care if you study or not because that is your life but if you see me studying, that is my business. if you want me to think that you're smart for getting high marks even when you only study for an hour before the paper, just say so. i would be more than happy to give you all the praise that you need to boost your ego.
So please, i'm begging  you to shut up.

i don't have any particular person in mind when i'm typing  this post. it's just how i feel sometimes in my daily life. so if you feel offended, maybe you're the person i'm talking about....

=)

Alhamdullillah..in the midst of headache-datelines-lack of sleep-sik lamak gik final tp blom blaja-....something happen today. Finally, i can put that thing at rest. i'm not gonna mention it because it's very personal to me but all i can say is i'm happy. =)))))))

MasyaAllah...

a reminder to myself

i need to be professional. Despite of the things you said to me, i have to put my feelings aside and focus on my work and i'll try to remind myself to be patience whenever you spit hateful comments to me. insyaAllah, i'll try to be professional.

.....

i'm tired

The holy Qur'an

Surah Al An'am (68-70)

when thou seest men engaged in vain discourse about our signs, turn away from them unless they turn to a different theme. If Satan ever makes thee forget then after recollection, sit not thou in the company of those who do wrong. On their account no responsibilities falls on the righteous, but (their duty) is to remind them, that they may (learn to) fear God. Leave alone those who take their religion to be mere play and amusement, and are deceived by the life of this world. But proclaim (to them) this (truth): that every soul delivers itself to ruin by its own acts: it will find for itself no protector or intercessor except God: if it offered every ransom, or (reparation), none will be accepted: such is (the end of) those who deliver themselves to ruin by their own acts: they will have for drink(only) boiling water, and for punishment, one most grievous: for they persisted in rejecting God.

MasyaAllah..how can we deny this ayat when we face this situation every single day of our life. Read the Quran and you'll be surprised with what you'll find. Trust me.

i am living in my worst nightmare

i'm trying my very best not to freak out but i think i am going HAYWIRE this weekend. i have a lot of work and everything is so important and i don't know which one is my top priority. Not to mention, my design project has finally begun and now there is so much on my plate, i don't know where to start. i need HELP!

Things to do:
highway mini project (CBR and AASHTO calculation by monday)
ALL the theory of structural design which includes slab, column and beam (discuss on sunday night)
i just can't simply copy the one in the book because i have to discuss it with my friend and i need to know what i'm talking about!
Mix design report (Monday!!!!)

As you can see, i need to do all of this in TWO DAYS! plus the bf is going out station next week and i can only see him this weekend before my final starts which is only in 1 week time.

Ya Allah, pls give me strength to carry on...

=(

I haven't been myself lately. i'm becoming the person i hate. i'm more sensitive and have a lot of hatred on everyone, besides it's not healthy when you have all that angst in yourself...

i'll try harder tomorrow...