3 months before the wedding

So many people are planning to get married in this year but many of them cancel it in the end. Am I on the same road?

4 years into this relationship, you ought to know the good and the bad of your partner. You tend to take things for granted and you stop making each other feel special and soon the sparks of the relationship will fade. In the end, both of you will go into automode and be excellent best friend.

I've had a turmoil breakdown for the past few weeks and I asked myself, is he worth this fight? Is this bad feeling going to end. Am I ever gonna be in love like before? and etc....

I look for self help book and google about this and not one of them suggest that I should be in this relationship. I talked to my best friend, hoping that she can enlighten me with this mess...but she was on the other side too. So I turn to my partner and observe him in scrutinizing details and every mistake he made will determine the path of this relationship.

(as i am writing this post, i still have no idea how this is going to end)

All that is tiring. Then, the turmoil turn 180° and I start blamming myself for everything that was happening. Another emotional breakdown was coming my way.

Am I bipolar or am I born to be full of angst? How is this going to end? Will this be the last raya we ever get to spend together?

3 months left before the big wedding and all this need to change. I need to stop thinking about the escape route and start on my emergency plan. This will not end without a big fight.

I pray that Allah swt will guide me every step of the way. InsyaAllah...

just maybe..

I've never felt this distant before. Is the the test from Allah swt or is this the sign from him not to continue this relationship. I'm lost. I've tried to read the self help book to deal with this issues but things are still the same.

Maybe this is just a phase.
Maybe things are gonna be fun like it used to
Maybe i can be less sensitive and put my feelings in the box and just dont care..
maybe...

i'm so tired but my housemates are being total scum bag at the moment.

i feel like i'm in the movie of date night. i can totally relate to tina fey's role...

Island full of IDIOTS

Sorry for not updating this blog as promised coz i have a lot on my plate lately.

I am so so mad with people right now. I'm in my cave again right now where I just don't want to see anyone including the bf. EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING annoys me. I do not know how to fix this. The only thing that makes me happy is working. I love having things to do. If there is a bed at the office, i would just sleep there.

Today is nuzul quran so i have my day off and i feel like my head is going to explode! I was up by 8 and i've been doing laundry and pack my stuff. Btw i'm moving out coz i feel like killing my housemate..i'll blog about this some other time. Back to the story...everyone are still asleep...housemates and bf and that annoys me like hell..i mean duhhh it's ramadhan. If u're planning to sleep the whole day..might as well u just eat when u wake up.

When he finally wakes up, we went to jakel. Omigod I feel like I want to stab myself. The music was so loud and humans are EVERYWHERE!

I pray that this hatred feeling would go away. I feel tired being angry all the time but i cant help it coz idiots are everywhere.

It's almost 2pm..what am i gonna do to get through the day...

my bf is a blog critic

Bf said my blog is boring. No gossip no drama no nothing and he said my post is so short and inconsistent.

Because of that, i'll write a longggggg post tonight sampai u want to muntah tonight...


stay tune folks..

ps: cuba ktk plh blog lok...ingin mek critic..

happy saturday :))

Good morning peeps. It's a beautiful saturday and I've been up since sahur. Eventhough I'm very sleepy at the moment but I refuse to go back to sleep coz I want to train my body clock to be up since subuh and sleep at 11pm.

It took me two hours to clean my room, kitchen and the living room of this house. So you can imagine how small this apartment is. Usually it takes me one whole day to clean my house or even half a day just to clean the kitchen.

That is why I don't really mind doing the GC alone coz the house is small and their stuff x ngambo. Anywhoos...i'm feeling crafty today. It's time to decorate my room. I want something artsy with lots of colours :)

ramadhan :)

Today is the 3rd day of ramadhan. so far so good. The bf is going to singapore again today. Although he said that it's not going to be long but i don't want to put high hopes in it. This time I will definitely miss him more because I have been living around him for the past 4 days since my new place is just the opposite of his housing area so we break fast and go to tarawikh together. It feels nice going with him for change but at the same time i miss going with my mom. Does that even make sense?

happy fasting :)

assalamualaikum wbt.

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Today is the first day of ramadhan as well as my first day at my new job. I am now working at a constructuon company called al-ambia. Don't be fooled by the name because it is fully own by chinese. What I can say about my work is I'm enjoying every moment of it. My designation for this company is neither a designer nor an engineer..instead it's a scheduler also known as planning engineer jr.

Who would have thought that out of 53 students in my class, I would be the one practising what we learn in Ir. salihuddin's class of construction management and FINANCE! I deal with ghantt chart, CPM and of course MICROSOFT PROJECT. I have been reading the manual this whole day and by the end of today I was given a tender to be submitted in two weeks time. My cute ala korean character collegue will be teaching me on how to do it and i am excited to learn! I finally feel like my career is taking off in the right direction now...

It's already 11.38pm so i guess i better go to bed now coz tomorrow is another learning day for me...yeaaaa