Tuesday, June 12, 2012

A very lonely night

Boringnya mlm tok. Rancangan tv suma boring. Cita melayu suma ak sik minat mok nangga. When syg blt lak mok pasang astro lah pasya mok tkr plan hp tok. Rasa rugi jak bayar rm120 every month. Klak mk tgk when tkr plan lak bill makin mahal ka murah.

Boring nya syg xda ctok. Every pass by cam less meaningful jak. Cam xda drive jak mok polah pa2. Mk g keja pun x semangat, mok msk xda mood apatah gk mk mkn d rmh tok. Nang boring tahap gaban tauk sik. I wonder gne couple lain nok sentiasa ad husband by their side. Bahagia x o. Mesti best nak ada org sentiasa by their side. Sentiasa rs safe cne2 jak pegi. When d rmh x lah paranoid when jiran psycho nilit, org laki ketuk pintu or nampak sparks rah veranda.

Sik tauk lah kmk tok x bersyukur ka apa tp kmk rs cam masa kita together x pernah cukup. Everytime syg outstation, kmk rs rindu gilak n counting days bila gik syg blt eventhough syg kedirik x tauk bila syg blt. And when dah balit kmk takit benar when phone syg bunyi. Takut syg kenak g outstation the next day. That's why lah kmk salu tyk sapa call or when collegue syg call kmk akn tyk pa nya mok.

......


I just finished speaking to u on the phone. Sedih ati mek nektok Allah jak tauk. Kmk x pat tahan ati when denga sora syg. I miss u so much and I want u to be here with me at home. X tahan kmk diam sorg di rmh. Kmk mala nangis jak2. Belum gk kmk rs ok kenak tinggal sorg2 di rmh. Kmk salu imagine gne idup without syg. One day one of us will go and the other will be left behind. Kmk rela syg kahwin baru if kmk ditakdirkan pegi dolok. X sanggup kmk mk syg diam sorg2. Cariklah kebahagiaan syg when I'm gone. Somewhere somehow, when kmk type tok kmk berhenti nangis. I now know how lonely and miserable it is being alone and I don't want you to feel like this.


Kmk risau dgn baby dlm perut tok. Kmk mala nangis. Mala sedih. Mala rs miserable. Is my baby going to be normal when nya grow up. Kmk nang sgt takut emotions kmk nektok will affect the baby tapi i can't help it from being sedih.

You ask mek to wait for another year. Honestly, i can't even stand for another day. So where does this leave me?

1 comment:

  1. ya Rabbi.. Sopia, stay strong.. i know its easier said than done, tapi, be strong, for the baby.. Allah is testing you and hubby.. my prayer goes for you and your little family :)

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