I just iron my clothes and i feel horrible. U know why? Coz i'm ironing pretty clothes to work. I feel guilty about it. Normally i'll just grab whatever in front of me but apparently my collegue said i look like org kampung. It felt like a slap to my face when she told me that. Suddenly my self esteem is low and i felt embarass. Though we joked about it coz another collegue of mine got the exact same reaction from her bf's family, it still hurts. Yes i laugh and act like i'm not affected by it but deep down inside i do.
I just realized how unattractive i am becoming. Plus gaining weight and being pregnant doesn't help. Most of my clothes don't fit me anymore and that is very frustrating.
I only like to dress up when husband is around even when i'm at home. I even wear perfume before going to sleep. But when he's not home, i just dont bother to dress up. What's the point right??
So now i feel guilty wearing prettty clothes but not going out on a date with husband. I feel like as if i'm telling the world "look at meee..i'm prettyyyy"
I hope Allah will forgive my choice of clothes tomorrow. I'm just embarass that even my own friend sees me like org kampung ;(
No comments:
Post a Comment