Why did I put myself in this position in the first place. I have no one else to blame but myself. I don't have the patience like my cousins whose husband are always away. One of them work as a navy and another one is based elsewhere. It's painful to be left all the time and be notified a day or hours before he left.
It sucks to be in this place. No matter where you work, the job scope is still the same. I feel like i've been alone most of the time during this pregnancy and it was a rare opportunity that I get to spend the whole weekend with him. I felt so loved and I love having him around but now he's leaving again and today i'm already 37 weeks.
He kept on telling me that the last job is gonna be his last job and he's aint going anywhere but again and again, he breaks his promise.
I honestly don't know what to believe in anymore. I feel so ashamed on begging to my friends to accompany me at home. This time, i won't beg for anyone. If I were to deliver this baby on my own, so be it. I have a feeling that I will be raising my kids on my own, most of the time. Just like all his collegue's wife.
I have to be strong, mentally and physically. If there is one person i should blame on is myself.
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