Tell me how much more I need to take? People keep on telling me to have some patience. Do they even know what's the meaning of patience. Tomorrow I'm gonna be 36 weeks into the pregnancy meaning that, I am 9 months pregnant. By the end of the week, I am considered as full term but the sad part is I am still living as a single.

I am so sad, angry and disappointed the whole day and it took me three times longer to do the programme. I keep on making stupid mistakes over and over again. I can't focus.

Husband is leaving tomorrow and he told me that he'll be back on thursday. I know one thing for sure that he will always leaves on time but barely comes back on the day he is supposed to.

I feel so depress living like this. What's the difference if I were to deliver in kuching?

Tomorrow, I'll be going to do my check up alone after work. I'm not gonna wait for husband to be around because my baby's health is more important now. It's a struggle for me to move around due to the pelvic pain. Even lifting a leg is excruciating for me. I feel like screaming on top of my lungs. I feel so alone and I am so scared. Thinking back about that night when I was in pain scares me. I don't want to go through that again.

Why am I in this situation? I dont have any option but to go on and try to live. I feel like giving. I'm so down right now i feel like killing myself.